


Locked

by katnisswilldrownbuttercup



Category: Dolan Twins - Fandom, Magcon (Video Blogging RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Explicit Language, Incest, M/M, Sibling Incest, Twincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 09:59:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17302532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katnisswilldrownbuttercup/pseuds/katnisswilldrownbuttercup
Summary: After filming the video, the freezer triggers former demons of Grayson's.Based upon the video "Facing Our Phobias."





	Locked

**Author's Note:**

> Watch the video "Facing Our Phobias" for context and background.

Ethan knows Grayson hasn’t stayed mad at him for it, but that doesn’t mean he can’t hate himself. 

Ethan remembers the wooden chest when they were little, he remembers Grayson avoiding tight spaces but he didn't realize his claustrophobia was that bad until the freezer. He's not sure either of them did, never had a reason to know. But after being in the freezer as long as he was, Ethan could tell Grayson was pretty fucked up. He seemed detached a lot recently, dawdling in his thoughts. He wasn't necessarily cold, but Ethan could tell that his twin wasn't his usual, energetic self. He was distant.

Ethan even felt so incredibly terrible for forcing him to “conquer his phobia,” or whatever shit they wanted to call it, that he forced Grayson to let him do the chores for the next week (albeit pretty poorly, but he tried).

But Ethan’s guilt has started to make him feel like he is almost just as fucked up about it.

Neither of them had brought it up.

But there is no way to tiptoe around it a couple of weeks later when Ethan wakes up to hear loud whimpers coming from Grayson's room.

He jumps out of his bed and walks down the hallway to enter Grayson’s room. His head is dizzy with sleep, so when he walks into the room he starts a  _ what the fuck, Gray-  _ but cuts himself off when he sees his brother.

He can tell Grayson is still asleep, but Ethan sees tears streaming down his face and his bed sheets tangled every which way, and hear the same sad whimpers and moans he heard before. Alarmed, Ethan immediately sobers from his sleepiness. He rushes to his twin’s side and tries to shake him awake. “Gray?” Nudge. “Grayson, wake up.”

He shoots awake. His eyes are wide and bloodshot, his face still as contorted as when he was asleep. His look is mangled, but when he realizes that it’s Ethan, his face softens. “E? What are doing here?” His voice is still gruff with sleep and tears, and he barely croaks his words out.

Ethan doesn't answer right away but instead crawls into the bed with his brother. He isn’t leaving now.

“Well, when your twin brother's crying in his sleep in the middle of the night it's slightly alarming.” They’re both lying on their sides now, facing each other, Ethan looking worriedly at Grayson. Grayson looking petrified. Guilty.

“Shit. Fuck. Shit, E, I'm sorry, I…” and his voice trails off and he doesn’t know what to say.

“S'okay,” Ethan replies. “Gray, you can't help it.”

What only Ethan and Grayson know is that when the twins first moved to L.A. Grayson started having nightmares. Bad ones. They were mostly about coming here, worried that the same demons from Jersey were going to follow them, worried about failing, worried about everything falling apart. Ethan practically shared a bed with Grayson for the first few months in California because sleeping next to him was one of the only ways to make it better. He got over it several months later but there are times when they come back. Coming to Grayson's room isn't anything new, but it hasn't happened in over a year.

Grayson rakes his hand through his hair, “I know, but I'm sorry, I try to stop it, I'm sorry, I-”

“Grayson. Shut up.” And he does. Ethan sighs and locks eyes on his brother's. “Gray, I- do you- this is because of the freezer, isn’t it?” 

Ethan's not sure when they had wrapped their arms around each other's waists but he notices when he feels Grayson's body tense and his eyes widen. Grayson looks sheepish and shy, but answers. “Well, I-” he pauses. “Yeah,” he says, looking embarrassed. 

That's when Ethan realizes, for about the thousandth time that  _ fucked up.  _ He  _ really fucked up.  _

“Shit, Gray.” It’s Ethan’s turn to run his hand through his hair. “I'm so fucking sorry. It’s my fault. I, well, I don't know. Sometimes, I don't know, I get caught up in the  _ goddamn content _ that I do anything and I really fucked up this ti-”

Grayson squeezes Ethan’s body to him so crazy tight Ethan thinks he might suffocate. 

“What's wrong with me, E?” Grayson implores. He’s crying again. “Why am I like this? Every night it's just me in that  _ fucking freezer  _ and I'm crying and screaming like I'm dying because I  _ am.  _ I'm dying and there's nothing anyone can do about it and there's no air, I'm drowning, I can't breathe, I-” Grayson starts shaking in his arms, breathing harder than Ethan's ever seen.  _ I-i-inhaler,  _ Grayson gasps.

It’s on the nightstand and Ethan pops it into his brother's mouth as quickly as he can. Grayson breathes in the inhaler, holds the air in his mouth for a few seconds, and swallows it, just like he's done since the scary day he fell on the grass during his lacrosse game, breathing hard and coughing. Grayson does that two more times. 

Ethan wants to cry.

Grayson places his inhaler on nightstand, lies down, and they both stare at the ceiling. Grayson’s defeated. Not crying anymore. Just  _ defeated. _ Ethan doesn't know how long they lie there in the quiet, but to him it feels like an eternity. 

Finally, Grayson interrupts by clearing his throat. “Stop blaming yourself, E.”

Ethan turns to his side and stares at Grayson incredulously. “How the fuck can you say that?  _ I'm  _ the one who had the video idea.  _ I'm  _ the one who put you in a freezer.” He swallows. “ _ I'm  _ the one started this all by locking you in that fucking wooden chest when we were ten.”

“Ethan, it's my stupid fucking head that can't get over a prank from eight years ago.”

“Gray, you're not stupid.” They’re facing each other again, this time their faces inches apart. Grayson laughs terribly. “You just don't know. I'm supposed to be this manly-man, like you, someone who doesn't wear their emotions on their sleeve. That’s what the fans want to see. But I can't get over a fucking  _ box.  _ I’m  _ weak. _ You just don't get it.”

Ethan doesn't know who has put these ideas into Grayson's head but he knows he hates whoever or whatever did. “Grayson if you think that any of that is at all true, and if you think that I want any of that from you, then you’re a fucking idiot.” He pauses. “No one is better or lesser because of their emotions. And none of what you’re saying even makes sense. I’m the weak one.”

Grayson sits up. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Ethan takes a deep breath. “I’m the one you always clean up after. You do the dishes, cook. I’m supposed to do the laundry and I can’t even be disciplined enough to do that. Remember when I broke your finger? Because I do. And then like an idiot, I punched a fucking  _ window.  _ I’m immature and I’m so reliant on you. You could be alone and get along even easier. You don’t need me.” Ethan wants to cry again because it’s all so  _ true  _ and he  _ hates  _ himself for it.

But, as soon as those words leave Ethan’s mouth, Grayson grabs him by his wrists so forcefully and suddenly that Ethan braces himself for Grayson to hit him. Ethan almost wants him to so he can try to make this just a little even. Grayson is on top of him now and his nails are digging into his wrists. 

Grayson looks livid.

“If you have ever thought for a goddamn  _ second _ that I don’t need you,  _ you’re  _ a fucking idiot.”

His face is hovering so closely over Ethan’s. His eyes are filled with an overwhelming intensity but also something Ethan can’t quite distinguish. Ethan is confused and that’s when Grayson does something that seals their fate forever.

He kisses him. Hard.

Ethan’s not sure what do, but before he has time to figure it out Grayson pulls away. And as shocked as Ethan is, Grayson looks twice as much, most likely having trouble realizing what he just did. His face would be comical in any other situation, but it definitely isn’t now.

Ethan is absolutely fucking  _ terrified, _ but not all for the right reason. He should be terrified that his  _ twin brother _ just kissed him and, what is wrong with his brother? But, he’s not. He’s terrified for the absolutely  _ worst _ reason: he didn’t hate it. In fact, he’s waiting for Grayson to dip his head again.

Grayson shakes his head, his eyes still wide. But he doesn’t get off of Ethan. “Jesus, E.  _ Fuck. _ Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m  _ so sorry, _ I didn’t mean it, I swear-”

Ethan flips Grayson onto his back at the speed of light. He looks into Grayson’s glassy eyes and does the most daring thing he’s ever done.

He kisses him. Harder.

And before Grayson has a chance to react and push him away, Ethan pulls away first and looks at him straight in his eyes. He searches those brown eyes, the ones that look so much like his own. What he finds is the same look Grayson gave him before  _ he  _ kissed  _ Ethan _ . Intensity and what Ethan can now distinguish as  _ lust. _

This time, there are no apologies. Just Ethan lowering his head again, pressing his lips to his. Grayson holding onto his shoulders, fingernails digging into skin.

And then they’re kissing,  _ oh God,  _ they’re kissing _. _ And It’s perfect.

 

**Author's Note:**

> lol never done the dolan twins before? ain't my fault they're twincest-y af though hehe


End file.
